You Say Goodbye and I Say Hello
In class today the 3 nenseis are making greeting cards because they will be graduating soon. I realized that this is the first time that most of these people will be saying goodbye. I know I could be optomistic and mention that they will be saying 'see you later' or 'until we meet again'. But the fact of the matter is they will be saying goodbye.
Then I thought about how many times I have had to say goodbye. Many of the friends I have made during these experiences I have, in fact, seen again. However about a third of them have been lost from my life.
High School. My first real goodbye. Most of my friends would be going to college in Ohio so I was certain I would see them again. Many of these friends I have retained fairly well even though one is off in Antarctica and others are setting up lives elsewhere and getting married (y'all know who you are). What I didn't know was that I would lose Katie and Becca. Two friends I became very close with and even threw my 'surprise' 18th birthday. Goodbye Katie and Becca.
Study Abroad. My junior year in college I went to London to study abroad. I said a temporary bye to my parents and then hopped on a plane. I made friends from different universities all over the states. Unfortunately no Brits were interested in a bunch of crazy American college kids. I did manage to make a best friend, Abbey and two gals from Wisconsin Kerry and Jess (one of whom came to see me in Japan). With every gain there is a loss. Ryan was like a brother to me. We made many trips to the theatres and just talked. Gerry introduced us to London's gay scene and fashion. Goodbye Gerry and Ryan.
College. 4 long years where I feel you do the most growing up. First I made friends in my dorm then I moved onto friends in my major. Abbey, Susie and my other people in my fraternity became my good friends. We went on vacations together, played spin the bottle and attempted to become business professionals together (most of them are doing better at that than I am). I know I am fresh out of college (although it has been 2 years but I did jet off to Japan right away) but I have already lost 2 substantial people from my college days. My roommates of 4 years Jenny and Nicole. We had a falling out and I haven't seen or heard from them since. Goodbye Jenny and Nicole.
JET. Another stage in life. So many mezurashii (i forget the english word) experiences with people from all over the world. I have 2 theories. We are either going to remain in good contact because we want to visit eachother in our different areas of the world or we will drift even quicker because the extreme distance. I know I will be saying goodbye to some of you and others I will see again, it's just a matter of who will be in which group. Looking back I can see now that the results are shocking.
I know with every goodbye there is an equally emotional stimulating event. A new hello.
Hello Future.
posted by Sarah at 2:55 PM
4 Comments:
mezurashii = unusual, rare...
In the past I have had contact with quite a lot of international friends. We keep intouch sporadically (sp?) but always know that if we are ever in the same place at the same time... We will slot straight back into old ways.
See you in Australia!
3:17 PM
I think the best and worse thing about being adventurous and all this internationality is saying bye to so many special people...guess its the price you pay. but you won't get rid of me too easily, trust me ~_^
11:45 AM
well...i have never lived in the same place for long...and when i say goodbye i just think at least i knew these people, maybe it was short, but always worth it!!
5:06 PM
You are completely right. With distance comes difficulty in friendship.
I have lived abroad for much of my life and I have had to say many goodbyes. Most of those goodbyes have been forever. It's not that I don't like the people but when you are in a different country life moves on. Your life moves on as does theirs. If you keep gripping to your past it is very difficult to look to the future. If I kept in contact with everyone that I have been friends with, I would be on the computer for 4 hours a day - This is not an option for me. What happens is your international friends gradually fade. you keep in contact for months (in some cases years) and everything is great but life moves on. You get new friends and so do they. The good friends will always remain. They are the ones that you can not contact for 4 years and then say "hey, Im in town, Let's hit the piss".
It sucks because its hard to make a friendship.
Your friends at home will probably remain your friends (or so I've found). You grew up with them and have a bond that lasts forever.
One last word. When I was living in India I had a great friend (Shaun). We travelled everywhere together and got on great. We got held hostage together, we hiked Everest together, we did earthquake clean up work together - Actually we did everything together. 2 years later I was in town (Viginia Tech) and we met up. Without the stimulation of India we no longer had anything in common. Quite often its 'the being in the foreign place' that gives you a bond. Yeah, we had the memories but that is all we had. We got on but accepted that the dynamics of our friendship had changed. We accepted that we wouldn't probably see each other again but we weren't all that fussed about it. It was kind of upsetting. My memory of Shaun still remains positive. He was a friend at one stage of my life. But life has different stages and with those stages come different friends!
I'm not an expert on this stuff but this is my experience.
Despite saying this in May I'm visiting a friend from India in the Pillipines and in August I'm visiting a friend in Norway. But these are two people in the 1000's that I have known. You have to remember to keep things realistic and in perspective. You can't see everyone again!
Sorry to bore you all with my dribble
Pete
9:07 PM
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